Twilight

When Harry Potter madness infected the world I foolishly resisted.  What sane adult would read a children's book about a wizard school?  Inevitably, curiosity led me to read "The Philosphers Stone".  From there my desire for a good book drove me to read the rest of the series.  J K Rowling is a superb writer and for the most part I enjoyed the series greatly.
Imagine then my interest when Twilight began to tread the path that Harry Potter had forged.  A series of books rabidly consumed by teenagers, followed by incredibly hyped movies.  My curiosity was again stirred; my wife and I borrowed the entire series and read it together. 
Unfortunately Meyer is no Rowlings.  I'll admit the premise of twilight is intriguing, and the storytelling aspect of her writing is competent if not enthralling.  But in the words of that great man Stephen King, she can't write a darn.  Her sentence structure is monotonous.  Her descriptions are workmanlike and unimaginative.  She repeats herself.  I felt like I was trapped in a Kevin Rudd press conference.
Technical snobbery aside there is more to dislike in Twilight.  The central characters appear to be drawn directly from the DSM-IV.  Bella Swan is grotesquely self absorbed while Edward pathologically tortures himself.  I still don't know why they like each other, although she does seem to have a fascination with marble.  In the "Most annoying character in the world race" these two are even odds winners.  While Jacob is more likeable Meyer rarely treats him fairly, lumping him with the rest of the Twilight characters who are obviously only there to revolve around planet Bella.
The popularity of this book scares me.  What does it mean when most of the teenage female population identify with Bella Swan?  Perhaps a generation of depressed checkout chicks await us.  

Hey I'm not Denis Leary

Girls have an opinion on everything.  The female mind does not appreciate the concept of reserving judgement, and while colouring the facts is undoubtedly fun its not always helpful.  Have you ever had that conversation where the condition of public toilets, specifically the male version, gets roundly hated on?  A female in the group, who while not revealing why she was in the male toilet, expresses her disgust at the appalling conditions witnessed and looks at you like you defiled it personally.   Perversely what usually follows is the males uproariously defending their aiming ability while the other females shake their heads distrustfully.  Now I may have frequented a few public toilets in desperate times but its highly unlikely I am wholly responsible for their state of ugliness.  Infact I have been in a few female loo's, for valid and defendable reasons, that have been far from sanitary.  I don't think the state of ladies toilets is exactly a beacon of female pride, and hardly a point to attack the males on.  Its a public toilet for goodness sake.  Its a communal area for people to relieve themselves, not something you can put in a glossy brochure.  Which begs the question of why girls go together.  Do they need company?  You don't see blokes rushing to stand at the urinal together.  One possible reason is that while waiting they clean up and throw the mess in the boys toilet.  That would explain perhaps why so many of them are experts on the inside of ours!